|Posted by Dr. Kay Wayman on November 6, 2012 at 10:40 AM|
Sifting through people's trash tells a lot about them. What kind of food we eat ( are we health conscious or fast-food junkies?) What kind of reading materials we ingest. Our favorite soap (if we use any at all). Our private letters. Our discarded memories.
Look inside our trash bag. What is it that we need to throw out but for some reason just can't or don't or won't?
Judy was not a prostitute. She was not on drugs or on welfare. She never went to jail. She was not a social outcast. She was respectable. She jogged. She hosted parties. She wore designer clothes and had an apartment that overlooked the bay. And she was very lonely. "We see people together and we get so jealous we want to throw up. What about us? What about us? Though surrounded by people, Judy was on an island. Though she had many acquaintances, she had few friends. Though she had many lovers (fifty-nine in fifty-six months), she had little love.
Who is going to love Judy? She wrote in her diary. "I feel so old. Unloved. Unwanted. Abandoned. Used Up. I want to cry and sleep forever." A clear message came from her aching words. Though her body died on June 9 from the wounds of a knife, her heart had died long before..."I'm alone," she wrote, "and I want to share something with somebody."
Loneliness. It's a cry. A moan, a wail. It's a gasp whose origin is the recesses of our souls.
Can you hear it? The abandoned child. The divorcee. The quiet home. The empty mailbox. The long days and nights. A one-night stand. A forgotten birthday. A silent phone. Listen again. Tune out the traffic and turn down the TV. The cry is there. Our cities are full of Judys. We can hear their cries. We can hear them in the convalescent home among the sighs and the shuffling feet. We can hear them in the prisions among the moans of shame and the calls for mercy. We can hear them if we walk the manicured streets of suburban America, among the aborted ambitions and aging homecoming queens. Listen for it in the halls of our high schools where peer pressure weeds out the "have-nots" from the "haves."
This moan is a minor key knows all the spectrums of society. From the top to the bottom. From the failures to the famous. From the poor to the rich. From the married to the single. Judy was not alone.